A subtle Shift
by Schattengestalt
Summary: Life with Sherlock has prepared John for a lot of eventualities, but even he is surprised, when he comes home one evening to find Sherlock wearing a dress. Johnlock. genderfluid!Sherlock.
1. Revelations and Dinner

**Author Notes** :This story has two parts and I`m hopeful that I`ll be able to post the next part in a couple of weeks.

It`s about genderfluid Sherlock. In this story that means that Sherlock identifies as a man or a woman. I`m aware that there are other gender identities, but I didn`t want to make it more complicated (although gender is complicated).^^

Just note that Sherlock doesn`t represent all genderfluid people. The experience is different for everyone and if someone has suggestions, please feel free to contact me. :)

Also keep in mind that Sherlock uses "he/him/his" when he identifies as a man and "she/her" when she identifies as a woman and John does so as well.

That`s all I had to say, now just enjoy the story and let me know what you think! :)

 **Revelations and Dinner**

Home.

John sighed and he grabbed the bags with the groceries tighter and shifted his weight from one foot to the other as looked up at the front of the building of 221B Bakerstreet. Usually, he was more than happy to come home after a shift at the clinic and looked forward to spending an evening with Sherlock. It didn`t even matter to him if they were going out to chase after criminals, watched TV on the couch or made passionate love - sometimes two or all three of the above came together.

John shifted his weight again and the bottle of milk clicked against the jar of jam, reminding him that it would be wiser to bring everything upstairs, before an accident could happen. Nevertheless, John only moved through the front door - to get away from the street - and then stood in the hall, staring up the seventeen stairs, without moving. Sherlock and he had lived together for eleven months, when they had finally admitted to the sexual tension and feelings between them and moved their relationship to the next level. That had been four months ago and John had thought that he was happy. Living with Sherlock was never boring or even predictable and John enjoyed it a lot. He only complained about body parts in the fridge, when there wasn`t enough room for other groceries and Sherlock was finally labeling his experiments - at least, if the substances were a danger to their health. Their sex life was also very satisfying and they were both getting what they wanted... or at least, John had thought so. He shook his head, still not understanding what had transpired this morning, even after having had ten hours to worry about it.

 _A sun shine tickled him awake. John groaned and turned to his side in their bed, hiding from the damned light. He dozed a little, but it was much too warm underneath the covers to fall asleep again._

 _Growling, John resurfaced and glared at the clock on the nightstand, which read six in the morning. Great, he had had five hours of sleep and only had to get up in an hour, but John certainly wouldn`t be able to fall asleep once more, after he had been woken. It was a habit from his army days and John cursed inwardly about it._

 _"You are much too loud." The hoarse, sleepy voice sounded next to him and with a small smile John turned around to face Sherlock, who had for once decided that his body needed some rest. "I wouldn`t be awake, if you had thought of pulling the curtains closed." A soft hum was Sherlock`s only reply and John inched closer to press a soft kiss to one, famous cheekbone. Still sleepy and with closed eyes, Sherlock drew an arm over John`s waist and leaned in for a kiss. Neither of them had brushed their teeth yet, but John really didn`t care about it as Sherlock soft and pliant body melted against him._

 _At least, a grin tucked at his face as John moved his hands over Sherlock`s sides to his abdomen, most of Sherlock was soft, but not everything. A morning erection pressed into John`s thigh and he felt an answering pull in his own loins. Slow, morning sex would certainly be a great compensation for waking up much too early. John moved one hand between their bodies and stroked Sherlock through the fabric of his pajama bottoms. Usually that earned him a soft moan or a happy, little sigh, but this time Sherlock`s reaction was much more violent. With a growl he jerked away and sat up at the edge of the bed, as far away from John as possible._

 _"Don`t touch me!"_

 _Flabbergast, John could only stare at Sherlock as he scrambled from the bed and fled to the bathroom. A minute later the shower was running and John didn`t have to be a genius to know that the water had to be freezing cold._

Sherlock hadn`t come to bed afterwards and John hadn`t gone after him, feeling too startled and hurt to deal with Sherlock`s moods. It wasn`t that he expected his boyfriend to have sex with him, whenever John felt like it. He would have understood, if Sherlock had told him that he only wanted to kiss and cuddle in bed. It wouldn`t have been the first time and John had rejected Sherlock`s advances on occasions as well, when he had been to knackered after a day at the clinic. That was normal, but snarling at John like he didn`t have the right to touch him - like Sherlock couldn`t think of anything worse than John`s touch - hurt... a lot.

"Shall I help you with the groceries, John?" A faint blush crept into his cheeks as he looked at Mrs. Hudson and shook his head. "No, I was just... trying to decide how to bring Sherlock to eat something, today." Their landlady gave him a small smile, not quite believing him, but also not asking farther questions. "I have baked some biscuits for you, boys, but I think they will taste even better, tomorrow."

John nodded and smiled faintly. This was Mrs. Hudson`s way of telling him that she wouldn`t disturb them this evening and that they should settle their differences. "Thanks, Mrs. Hudson."

With a last nod in his direction, their landlady closed the door to 221A and John squared his shoulders, before marching up the stairs. Sherlock and he only had to talk about it and then everything would be alright. God only knew how mercurial Sherlock`s moods were and what had brought his behavior on this morning. As far as John was concerned, it could be something completely harmless - like not being able to solve a chemical problem in his sleep - and they would laugh about it later. He didn`t want to think about the possibility that Sherlock had just noticed that he had grown tired of John and didn`t want him around any longer.

Swallowing against the lump in his throat, he entered their flat and scanned the living-room for any signs of a mad genius. Sherlock wasn`t there and John frowned when he didn`t find any experiments on the kitchen table either as he put the groceries away. What had Sherlock done all day long? Had he gone out on a case, without at least texting John? That wasn`t like him, but still...

A quiet curse sounded from their bedroom. John frowned and moved to the ajar door. Sherlock usually didn`t curse, not even when a murder was running away from him - especially not then - and John wondered what could bring his boyfriend to utter such obscenities. Without knocking, John opened the door and... froze.

There was a woman in their bedroom - a beautiful woman. Long legs, covered in dark blue silk from the knees upwards. Small hips and a wasp waist gave her the looks of a model, as did the v-neck of her dress that revealed her pale back from the neck down to her waist. She wasn`t wearing a bra - at least not a conventional one - and it wouldn`t have fitted the style of the dress. John wondered if that was why the dress had a halter neck to compensate for the lack of a bra or if it was purely for fashionable reasons. John would really like to see her front, in order to judge for himself and appreciate her beauty with a compliment, before asking her what the hell she was doing in their room and where the hell Sherlock was... Oh!

That scar, that ran down from the woman`s right shoulder to her spine was one John had seen numerous times already. He had traced it with his fingers or his tongue, cursing the person that had marked his beloved in such a way and trying to erase the memory at the same time. A scar like that didn`t happen to be on his boyfriend`s and an unknown woman`s back... just as the curls spoke a very clear language, now that John looked at them. Really, his whole stance, his height and... everything, was just so typical for him that John wondered how he hadn`t noticed it right away.

"Sherlock!" A laugh resonated in John`s voice as his boyfriend flinched and finally turned around. The dress was truly beautiful, it clung to Sherlock`s body, adding slight curves - to his hips and chest - where their usually were none and the halter neck was concealing his Adam`s apple. A small cut between his neck and the gentle curve of his breasts lent him an even more feminine touch, as did the pedant that hung from the fabric and dangled right over his décolleté.

John wondered for a second if there were some pads integrated in the dress to create the illusion of small breasts or if Sherlock had done something else to achieve that. His gaze wandered upwards to the face of his beloved and John smiled slightly. A little rouge to his sharp cheekbones, dark eyeliner, mascara and rosy lipstick perfected the image and John doubted that a woman would have done a better job at applying make-up. Sherlock was beautiful, only... his wide and shocked eyes, when they met John`s and the way all the color drained from his cheeks didn`t fit very well.

John narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. His first instinct had been to assume that there was a new case and that Sherlock was in disguise and had to attend a ball as a woman to gather information. After living with a mad genius for so long, John wouldn`t have thought anything about it. Sherlock did everything in order to solve a case, but if it had been a disguise, Sherlock would have already started to tease John about not recognizing him at once. He would be boasting about his skills and tell John how he had been able to morph into a beautiful woman and bet with him that no one would be able to tell that he was a man. So, paling and looking fearfully at John certainly wasn`t the usual reaction, therefore...

"That`s not a disguise."

Sherlock shook his head - his curls were styled in a more feminine way and softened his masculine features, John noted - and darted a look at John. "No, it`s not!" His voice was softer, higher than usual and John could easily believe that it was the deep voice of a woman, although it was still in the range of a man`s voice. Still, there was also a trembling to it that John didn`t like. It spoke of fear and the last thing he wanted was for Sherlock to fear him. "Is this some kind of a... kink? Because if it is," John added hastily as Sherlock averted his gaze. "It`s fine. You look good in a dress." _Fucking marvelous_ to be exact, but John didn`t want to push his luck with such words.

Blue eyes, appearing darker than usual thanks to the make-up, regarded him closely.

"It`s not a... kink, John." The words were almost sneered, but Sherlock still managed to keep his voice sounding higher than usual. "I`m," He licked his lips and smeared some of the lipstick. "I`m a... woman."

John couldn`t help himself, he laughed. Chuckles shook his frame and his eyes twinkled madly. He hadn`t thought that Sherlock had such an interesting sense of humor, but it was certainly a nice surprise. Only when no sounds from Sherlock were forthcoming, John gazed up to find the beloved face scrunched up in an obvious hurt look.

"Sherlock?"

Long fingers were clenched into fists at Sherlock`s side as he stared down at the floor, unable or unwilling to meet John`s gaze. In that second, John realised that he might have just made a grave mistake.

OOO

John was laughing at her.

Sherlock bit down on her lower lip, ignoring the taste of the lipstick on her tongue as she avoided looking at John. Of course, he was laughing. Only thirty-two hours ago, Sherlock had made love to John as a man. How could John believe or understand that Sherlock wasn`t a man today, but a woman. It had been hard for her to grasp it at first as well and make sense of. It had been easiest when she had been a child and hardest when she had hit puberty. During her adult years, she had learned that it was a part of her - just like her high cheekbones and long fingers - but she hadn`t told any of her current friends or acquaintances. Mycroft knew - of course, he did - and her brother had never insulted her, accepting it without a fuss. Others had seen her in dresses as well, but either they hadn`t guessed at the parts between her legs or had assumed that it was some kind of a kink... just like John did.

"Sherlock?" His voice sounded soft and worried, but Sherlock stared at her bordeaux painted toenails. Maybe, it would be better to tell John that it was only a joke or that it was in fact a kink and leave it at that. John seemed to like seeing Sherlock in a dress - the dilation of his pupils had given him away - and he probably would accept some kind of role-play, only...

Sherlock sighed quietly as she remembered her reaction this morning and how she hadn`t been able to stand John touching her erection. Her rejection had hurt John and he would start to question their relationship if it happened more often. Still, wasn`t that preferable to John leaving her right away?

"Sherlock," A hand curled around her fist and her head jerked up at the contact. Puzzled, but soft blue eyes regarded her steadily and Sherlock felt her defenses shatter to dust. She heaved a sigh and sat down on the bed, dragging John with her, who sank down next to her. "I`m a woman," Sherlock repeated and licked her lips nervously again. "By that I mean, that I identify as a woman today." She waited for John to laugh again or tell her that she should stop this game right away. But her boyfriend only nodded encouragingly at her, although he still appeared a little confused. At least, that was better than disgust or utmost disbelief. "Most days - that`s to say at seventy-one percent of the days of a year - I identify as a man but sometimes I wake up and... identify as a woman."

Sherlock didn`t know if John was able to comprehend what that meant, if he had heard of such gender identities before or if it was completely new to him. She tried to judge from his expression what he was thinking, but it appeared much harder than usual. Probably, because John didn`t know what to think himself. After all, he hadn`t signed up for this, right?

Sherlock gulped and felt how the silk slide against her Adam`s apple. John had either been with women or men, but never with someone, who varied between identifying as male and female. He wouldn`t want to continue their relationship or he would demand that they stop being together, whenever Sherlock identified as a woman... and she couldn`t say which of these options were worse.

"I have never seen you in a dress before," John murmured and then sat up straighter and cocked his head to the side as if a thought had just occurred to him. "May it be that you don`t always feel the need to dress so feminine, when you identify as a woman?"

Startled, Sherlock nodded. That wasn`t what she had accepted - interested inquiries about her preferences in clothing and her feelings - and she didn`t know how to react. Answering John`s question verbally appeared to be the best course of action. "It`s different from time to time. When I just wander around in my dressing grown and stay in the flat, it doesn`t matter, especially not when I`m busy with an experiment or when I`m out and on a case." John nodded and Sherlock was surprised to see real understanding in his eyes, instead of judgment.

"Because your body is only _transport_ ," John sneered the word and Sherlock knew that it was due to the fact that John hated to watch her rejecting food and sleep when she was working. "And you can`t be bothered to pay any attention to it."

Sherlock shrugged and a faint smile ghosted around her lips as she started to relax a little.

"It has never harmed me to do so," She hurried on, before any protests from John were forthcoming. "Sometimes, I just want to express myself as a woman and then I.."

"Dress up."

Sherlock caught John`s eyes, which were sparkling with amusement, but without any traces of mockery. She coughed quietly. "Yes, it feels right and you must admit that I`m a very beautiful woman."

John blinked and Sherlock held her breath as his gaze wandered over her a few times. Had she gone too far? Would John tell her that she was looking nicely in her dress - because she did, obviously - but that he didn`t want her as a woman? Or - what seemed more likely where John was concerned - that he accepted Sherlock that way she was, but wouldn`t be able to live with... _it_?

"I would be lying if I said otherwise, you are beautiful, Sherlock." John`s voice was husky and Sherlock had to force herself to keep still as a finger traced along her silk covered thigh. "I just wonder why I have never seen you like this before. I mean, even when you ignore your body most of the time, certainly you must have wanted to express yourself..." John`s face fell as recognition hit him and his eyes widened in shock. "You didn`t express yourself, because of... me."

Was there guilt in John`s voice or was Sherlock only imagining things? Either way, it would be useless to deny the deduction. "You are right, although I used to... go to one of my hideouts, before we became a... couple, from time to time, to dress and spend the day as a woman."

John blinked.

"That was when you vanished for a whole day, sometimes longer and I always wondered..." He trailed off and seemed to consider his next words carefully. Sherlock held her breath, trying hard not to jump to any conclusions as John`s mind processed the new information. "It`s probably considered rude, but," _I`m going to leave you,_ Sherlock finished the sentence for him and almost jumped, when John continued speaking. "How many days in a stretch do you usually identify as a woman?"

Sherlock considered the question carefully, not sure what John wanted to hear or what kind of answer would be the best. Seconds ticked by and she wasn`t able deduce anything helpful from John`s expression, so she just settled for the truth. "Three days was the longest I have ever identified as a woman without interruption. Do you propose that we... interrupt our relationship whenever I`m..."

"NO!" This time Sherlock flinched at John`s agitated tone. Blue eyes were stormy as they met hers. "I`m not leaving you, woman or man, I don`t care and you know that." Sherlock shrugged, glancing at John`s hand that still rested on her thigh. "You don`t care when it`s either of them, but it`s both... not at the same time, but they are both... I have a female and a male side and..."

"I don`t see the problem." Their eyes locked. A warm, but desperate smile brightened John`s face as he held Sherlock`s gaze. "You are still the same person. You store body parts in the fridge and fill acid in our tea mugs, no matter if you are a man or a woman. Your mind remains brilliant and beautiful, no matter how you feel - except when you are in a bad mood, then your brilliance is rather self-destructive - and you are just as sexy in shirt and trousers as you are in a dress. I rather think that`s a win-win situation for me."

Sherlock gulped and had to avert her gaze, before John noticed how moved she was by his words. No one had ever reacted with so much acceptance, whenever they had stumbled over her secret. Either they didn`t believe what she told them and thought it had something to do with acting as a drag queen or they mocked Sherlock for her feelings.

"Hey, look at me." A gentle thumb under her chin forced Sherlock to turn back to John. A quivering smile hovered around his lips as he leaned in and pressed a brief kiss to her mouth. Sherlock`s breath stocked at the brief contact and she made to touch her fingers to her lips, but John caught them in his hand. "You will get lipstick on your fingers and then you will ruin your dress." Against her will a low chuckle escaped Sherlock at that."You have much experience with that, haven`t you?!" John grinned and then shrugged. "I had a few girlfriends, but I haven`t... that`s it, I`ll just ask and you can tell me to bugger off if you think it`s in any way offensive."

The tension returned at that and Sherlock`s back stiffened, even as she nodded. Of course, John would want to know in what kind of sexual acts she had indulged as a woman or how Sherlock`s identifying as mostly male and sometimes female affected her sexual orientation. Sherlock didn`t really want to speak about it, but after John`s unexpected acceptance, she reasoned that he deserved to know that much.

"When I touched you... your erection this morning, did you react so badly, because you felt revolted by your body parts or... don`t you just want to be reminded of them, when you are a woman?" John`s face was slightly colored and from the way he held himself, it was obvious that he expected Sherlock to lash out at him for such a question. Nevertheless, that was the last thing on Sherlock`s mind. The question was very private, but the topic wasn`t off limits, at least not with John. It would be hypocrite to say otherwise, after all the nights - and days - they had spent together in bed - or on various horizontal or against vertical surfaces. "If you want to know if I feel disgusted by my male parts, when I`m a woman, the answer is no. Sometimes, it feels strange, but it doesn`t change the fact that I identify as a woman. Before you ask, I never considered undergoing surgery to get breasts or a vagina... Maybe I would have done that if I felt like male and female at the same time - all of the time - but since I rather like my body," John`s enthusiastic nod sent warmth through Sherlock`s body. "I don`t see the need to change anything. If I want to have curves, I just add them." She pointed at her small breasts and blushed as John cupped the left one in his hand.

"Oh, sorry, I didn`t mean to..." Sherlock covered his hand with her larger one and kept it on her breast, even as they both fought a blush. "They are only pads, inserted in the dress and it`s not like you haven`t touched my chest before. I don`t mind in the least, but while I also don`t mind my... penis, I don`t like it to be touched in a sexual manner, when I identify as a woman. Orgasm isn`t an issue, but not..." Sherlock stopped and felt more heat rising in her cheeks. Christ, this was mortifying. John wouldn`t understand it. How could he? He was a man, through and through - every day of the year - and it would be hard for him to wrap his head around what Sherlock had just said.

"So, if we want to engage in sexual activities, when your female side is in command, we will have to find other ways of stimulation. You are very lucky, that your boyfriend is a doctor, Sherlock."

That couldn`t be happening? Sherlock stared at John, gaping as he only smiled reassuringly at her. Certainly, it couldn`t be so easy for him to accept her like that. Of course, she knew that John was special - in every way possible - but Sherlock hadn`t even dared dreaming of such an impartial reaction. "You are extraordinary, John."

He chuckled and shook his head. He seemed to know exactly what Sherlock meant as he breathed a chaste kiss to her lips. "No, everyone who didn`t see it like that was just an idiot. And now, I should better get ready..."

Sherlock blinked in confusion. "Ready for what?"

John just gestured to her dress and then to his own jeans and shirt. "I just decided that it would be a waste to stay at the flat, when you are dressed up like that, therefore, we are going out for dinner and I have to change if I don`t want to look too badly next to you."

Sherlock pressed a trembling hand to her lips to hide her shock. No one had ever willingly gone out with her, when they had known what parts she had between her legs. Some had certainly wanted to fuck her in a dress or a skirt, but being seen with her in public...

"Stop it!"

Sherlock frowned and gasped as John drew her hand away from her mouth and pressed a kiss to each knuckle. "I`m not like all this other idiots, otherwise I would have never endured your behavior at a crime scene." He grinned and then sobered a little as he turned to his wardrobe.

"Just do me one favor, Sherlock," John managed to look mischief and grave all at once. "Don`t wear high heels!"

OOO

They made a nice couple.

John watched their reflections in the mirror - Sherlock in her night blue dress and himself in his best suit. Strangely, it didn`t feel weird at all to think of Sherlock as a woman.. It was just another side of Sherlock, John could love. Maybe, it would have been different if it hadn`t been Sherlock. John wasn`t so sure if he had been able to wrap his head around a female and a male side in one body if it had been one of his former lovers. Not that he would have freaked out, but it would certainly have taken longer to get used to the idea than when it was Sherlock. Something to do with the fact, that Sherlock was so extraordinary that it was just... fitting.

John smiled and then offered his arm to Sherlock, who accepted it with a raised eyebrow and a little smile. A much better expression than the fear, John had seen on Sherlock`s face earlier.

He still felt bad for laughing at her, but he had sworn that he would make it up to her this evening. It was the only reason, why he had texted Mycroft to make sure that they got a table at one of the nicest restaurants in London. John was sure that Sherlock`s brother would call in a favor for it, but he couldn`t care less right now, as they extended the staircase together.

"Ah, boys, are you...?"

John flushed when Mrs. Hudson appeared at the bottom of the stairs. He certainly wasn`t ashamed of Sherlock in any way - she looked marvelous - but John didn`t know if Sherlock wanted anyone to know about her gender identity. During their conversation he had gotten the impression that Sherlock had only made bad experiences, whenever she had been herself.

John wouldn`t have needed fearing that Mrs. Hudson belonged in that category of people. The startled look cleared from her face at once and an approving smile turned up her lips. "You look fantastic, Sherlock, John. I wish I had such a dress, when I was young." She sighed longingly and then shook her head as if to shake off unwanted thoughts. "You two have fun, together."

"Thanks, Mrs. Hudson." John bestowed a smile upon her and was only a little surprised when Sherlock kissed her lightly on the cheek as they extended the building.

A taxi was already waiting for them - probably Mycroft`s doing - and John gallantly opened the door for Sherlock, who merely snorted, but get in without protest. John sat down next to her and gave the driver their destination, before leaning back in his seat. "You don`t have to play the perfect gentleman." John snorted and nudged Sherlock`s arm gently. "Maybe, I want to treat you like the amazing and wonderful lady, you are."

Sherlock`s head snapped around at that, her eyes wide and calculating as her gaze flickered over John. She leaned back against the seat with a surprised sound. "You really mean it."

John almost laughed at that, but he somehow managed to contain it in a bright grin. "Of course, I do, although that doesn`t mean that I won`t scold you if you dash off to a crime scene tonight and insult every policemen there... or that I`ll treat you like that every day."

Sherlock`s lips curled up in a smile. "I hope not and I`m not really dressed to chase after criminals tonight." John considered that, took in the silk dress and the black court shoes and he shuddered at the thought that Sherlock would jump from rooftop to rooftop like that. She wouldn`t, not if John had any say in it, but his observation led to another question. "If you got a case on a day you identified as a woman, how would you dress?"

"Really, John," Sherlock rolled her eyes at him, the effect increased by the careful applied make-up. "Do you only know women, that wear dresses and skirts. I would wear trousers and a button-down shirt, like usual. Many woman wear such clothes and I also own some nice blouses, which go perfectly with my trousers. Not that anyone has ever noticed, when I have worn one of them in the past." She shrugged and then sent him a low level glare. "Do you want to talk all evening about my... dressing habits or can you come up with something else?"

She didn`t say it directly, but John gathered that Sherlock didn`t want to discuss the differences between his female and male side any longer. Of course, he was still curious, but John was aware that it would be rather rude to ask Sherlock any more questions. Besides, it might give her the impression that he didn`t fully accept her and that just wasn`t on. Against all odds, John wanted Sherlock in every way, no matter if man or woman and he would make damn sure that Sherlock knew that, by the end of the evening.

"I could tell you about my day at the clinic." Sherlock snorted. "Three vaccinations, one hysteric mother, who`s child only had a cold and one drunk, who vomited all over you, so that you had to take a shower at the clinic and a lot of other pedestrian diseases."

"Thanks for reminding me of the drunk." John rolled his eyes at Sherlock. "It was the highlight of my day."

"Really?!" Blue eyes widened in mock innocence. "I thought that was the beautiful woman you found in our bedroom."

This time, John couldn`t help himself, he laughed and a second later, Sherlock joined in. They were still giggling, when they arrived at their destination - Alain Ducasse - and John made sure to hold the door of the cab open for Sherlock and led her to the restaurant. A waiter opened the door to them and they were shown to the head porter, who directed a professional smile at them. "You have a reservation?" It was a theoretical questions, since no one would attempt to go to the most expensive restaurant in London without making a reservation. "Table for two, Holmes," Sherlock informed the man, who bestowed her with another professional - if a little more appraising smile - and looked at his notebook. "Holmes... Ah yes, you have the best table of the house. Please, follow me, Mr. and Mrs. Holmes."

Delight was a far too small a word to describe the utter joy that lit up Sherlock`s face as she was addressed this way. John felt an answering pull at his lips and interlaced his fingers with Sherlock`s as they were shown to their table.

John had been afraid that the best table would be the table right in the center of the restaurant, where everyone could see them. As it turned out, their table was located in a niche and gave them some sort of privacy. Still, a lot of heads turned their way as they sat down and John was sure that it wasn`t only due to Sherlock`s breathtaking appearance but also because of their difference in height. John had never dated a woman that was so much taller than him, but he really didn`t mind. After running after Sherlock for such a long time, John was used to being dwarfed.

"Do you wish an appetizer?"

"Two glasses of champagne, please," John ordered, before Sherlock could say anything and the waiter nodded and departed. It wasn`t long before he came back and this time, Sherlock ordered them a bottle of red wine - a Merlot - as they were handed the menu cards as well.

"To what do we drink?" Sherlock asked, when he raised his glass and John didn`t have to think long, before he came up with something, although it was very unoriginal. "To us and our love!" It was spoken on impulse and John only registered what he had said, when Sherlock gasped at him. He hadn`t said these three simple words to Sherlock yet, although John had thought it fairly obvious that they described perfectly well how he felt for his boyfriend... _girlfriend_ , right now. Therefore only the faintest of blushes graced his cheeks as he held Sherlock`s surprised gaze. "Of course, I love you, Sherlock. Did you doubt that?" From the way, Sherlock stared at John, it might very well be the case or...

A cold fist clenched around John`s chest. Maybe, Sherlock was so shocked, because she didn`t love John, but... No, that was nonsense, if she didn`t love him then she wouldn`t have told him about her gender identity... right?

Doubt made the glass in John`s hand tremble and he was about to put it down, when Sherlock placed her free hand on his. "I love you, too, John. There was never any doubt about that."

A heavy weight fell from his heart and John found that he could breath freely once more as he gave Sherlock`s hand a soft squeeze and held it. "Then let`s drink to it."

Their glasses clinked and John was certain that the happy smile on Sherlock`s face mirrored his own. So far, the evening was turning out much better than he had anticipated when he had come home after his shift at the clinic.

"By the way," John started after they had ordered their meals - starters, main course and dessert - and took a sip from his wine. "What would you have done, if I hadn`t... found you in our bedroom?"

Sherlock shrugged and circled the wine glass with her long fingers. The dark red nail polish fitted perfectly to her outfit. "I would have gone to a casino, drunk a glass of champagne and observed people, but I lost track of the time and then you came and..." She directed a coquettish smile at John, who grinned in return. "I`m sure you would have been an eye-catcher. I`m glad that you didn`t go, I would have had to worry more than usual that no one kidnapped you."

A crimson blush crept into Sherlock`s cheeks, even as she held his gaze and John wondered if Sherlock had ever been complimented earnestly as a woman by someone who knew her. Judging from her reactions and from what John knew about how people usually treated Sherlock- no matter which gender - the answer was fairly obvious. But that was over now, John would make sure that Sherlock knew how much she was loved - man and woman.

"The woman at the table to our left has an affair with the secretary of her husband, with whom he has an affair as well. Neither of them knows about it, the secretary keeps it a secret. A shame, they could enjoy a ménage à trois." John glanced at the inconspicuous couple and then back at Sherlock. Obviously, Sherlock as a woman was as uncomfortable with talking about her emotions as Sherlock as a man, but that was fine with John. He preferred actions to words as well.

So, he leaned back in his chair and listened to Sherlock`s deductions about the other patrons and waiters, chipping in with a question or a remark here and there, but leaving most of the talking to Sherlock. It was just like any other evening they had eaten outwards - except for the prices - and John was rather glad for that. It proved his theory correct that it didn`t matter how Sherlock looked or with what gender she identified with, Sherlock was still the same.

After _Escargot à la bourguignonne_ for them both, _Coq au vin_ for John and _lotte de mer_ for Sherlock, followed by a fantastic pudding - _crème brûlée_ \- they were both full and John asked for the bill as they finished their coffee. He was already preparing himself to live from beans and toast for the rest of the month, when the chef waiter came back with a premium bottle of red wine and sans bill. "The bill has already been covered and we would like to present you with a bottle of our house wine, Mr. and Mrs. Holmes."

John opened his mouth to protest, but a kick to his shin shut him up as Sherlock accepted the bottle with a graceful smile and allowed the waiter to bow over her hand. "What the hell...?", John muttered as Sherlock inspected the bottle and gave an appreciating nod.

"Mycroft." It was one word and the name shouldn`t carry as much weight as it did, but John wasn`t going to protest against a free meal at the best and most expensive restaurants in London. "He is going to call in a favor for that," Sherlock muttered, but it didn`t sound nearly as distasteful as when she usually spoke of her brother and therefore John didn`t comment on it.

They were by the last guests to leave the restaurant and a taxi already waited for them outside. Mycroft again, but John didn`t mind, especially not after a heavy meal and half a bottle of red wine. He was ready to go to bed, when they got home, although - he glanced at Sherlock`s beautiful profile - he certainly wouldn`t mind some exercise before he crashed.


	2. Declarations and Dessert

**Author Notes:** I`m sorry that it took me longer than planned to update this story, but RL - and especially university - got in my way. But now, I have semester break and passed all of my exams, so I have more time for writing once more.^^

Maybe I`ll even write a sequel to this story, if you are interested. :)

There is a sex scene in this chapter, so if this is not your cup of tea, don`t read this chapter and just skip to the end of it. Otherwise, Enjoy! :)

 **Declarations and Dessert**

John was in the bathroom. Sherlock cocked her head to the side and listened closely to the noises which emerged from the room next door. John relieving himself, the flush of the toilet, water running - longer than for washing hands, therefore also brushing his teeth - and then the door opening.

She fidgeted nervously with her hands as she waited for John to come to their bedroom. The evening had been awesome - much better than Sherlock would have ever thought - and although she usually wasn`t a fan of dates, she had to admit that she had enjoyed herself. Not only had she been able to show off her new dress - tailor - made - but, more importantly, she had spent the evening with John. It always made a huge difference if John was or wasn`t with her, no matter if they were investigating a case or watching crap TV together.

Sherlock smiled slightly and tried to ignore her quivering nerves as she sat down on the edge of the bed and waited for John. He had moved to the kitchen, probably drinking a glass of water to prevent alcohol induced dehydration after half a bottle of wine. Sherlock just wished that he would hurry up, since she doubted that she could stand it much longer to wait here like this without going mad. Finally, the click of the light switch in the kitchen and John`s steps in the hall. Only seconds now, until he would open the door and...

Sherlock held her breath as John entered their bedroom, closed the door and turned towards the bed. It was obvious when his mind processed what he was seeing, since he stopped dead in his tracks, his mouth opening in wonder and his eyes widening.

Sherlock swallowed hard and waited for a more telling reaction, since John`s facial expression could mean anything at the moment. Reaching from mere surprise to shock or even disgust. Well, Sherlock somehow doubted that it was the latter, after their evening spent together and their conversations, but still...

Self-conscious she straightened the strap of her negligee and wondered if it had been a bad idea to present herself like that. The chest area of the negligee was padded and formed two perfect, small breasts. The chest area was lined with non-transparent material, while the negligee was transparent everywhere else and revealed Sherlock`s flat stomach... and the knickers she was wearing. It ranged in color from black to anthracite and Sherlock rather liked how it brought out her pale skin. She had always wanted to wear it for someone, but the chance had never presented itself, until today, but maybe it had still been a mistake to put it on.

Sherlock peeked up at John, who stood motionless in the front of the bed, and felt a mortifying flush rise to her cheeks. Christ, what had she thought? When John had said that he wanted to make love to her - no matter how she identified at the time - he certainly hadn`t thought of her dressed like that. He had probably imagined them completely naked by then, so that he could just forget...

"Fair and beautiful," John whispered, a husky note to his voice as he moved to stand in front of Sherlock and gazed down at her. "I have never seen a woman looking so... natural while wearing a negligee. They all appear so tense, as if they don`t really want to wear it and just force themselves for their partner`s sake, but you..." He leaned down and kissed her and Sherlock felt herself relax as she slung her arms around John`s back. Their kiss turned from tender and worshipping to deep and passionate in a matter of moments. Heat coiled in her loins and Sherlock shifted a little on the bed to adjust to the suddenly much tighter briefs. "Dear God, you are perfect, Sherlock," John whispered as he breathed kisses on her jaw, cheeks and nose, before drawing back a little.

She blinked up at him, a happy smile on her lips and let her hands wander over his shirt to the waistband of his trousers. John had already shed his dinner jacket, tie and button-down shirt, therefore only a few clothes were in Sherlock`s way as she started on the belt. John`s pupils dilated farther as she slipped the leather free and threw the belt to the floor, before working the button and zipper of his trousers open. John`s shorts were already filling out nicely, a proof of his attraction to Sherlock. "Eager, aren`t we?" She murmured as she pressed her mouth against John`s underwear and nuzzled his erection through the fabric. "Christ, you are... God!" Sherlock felt John shudder as she reached into his pants and teased the head of his penis with her fingertip while licking him through the fabric once more. "Religious speaking that was a correct statement, from the view of some people." John groaned, but if it was due to Sherlock`s comment or because he simply couldn`t take the teasing any longer was beyond Sherlock. Still, she would take pity on him.

John yelped as he was jerked around and landed ungracefully on the bed. Sherlock didn`t give him time to recover as she jerked his trousers and underwear completely down. John assisted her in kicking them away - after he had regained his balance - and his socks followed, before Sherlock kneeled between his spread legs. "I want to suck you, John!"

He gave a breathy nod and spread his legs even farther like he always did, when Sherlock proposed that specific act to him. Grinning, she closed the fingers of her right hand around his shaft and lowered her mouth over the head of his erection. It twitched in her hand as she blew against it and again when she teased it with her tongue. A quiet moan echoed from John and Sherlock decided that she wanted to hear more of these wonderful sounds. She licked the underside of his shaft and followed the movement of her tongue with her other hand, only to press a wet kiss to the tip of John`s cock. "Tease," he muttered, but his voice was laced with affection and Sherlock decided that it was time to take mercy on him. He groaned, when Sherlock guided him in her mouth, swallowing him as far as possible and tearing another moan from his lips. Sherlock hummed quietly - knowing how much John loved the vibrations that it sent along his shaft - and hollowed her cheeks as she sucked him. His cock twitched in her mouth and she tasted the first bitter drops of pre-come. Sherlock doubled her efforts to please her lover. A hand dropped on her head and Sherlock hummed again, when John grabbed a handful of her locks. She knew that he wouldn`t pull at them or push into her mouth, therefore she rather enjoyed the grip of his fingers in her hair. In some way it was reassuring and gave Sherlock the feeling that they were connected at a deeper level than the mere physical one... which they were. She thought back to John`s declaration of love and sucked him in again.

"You are magnificent," John pressed out and his hand wandered from her head to Sherlock`s cheek. He stroked her gently, feeling where he was in her body and suddenly Sherlock knew what else she wanted tonight. The thought sent heat between her legs and she trembled as she kept on sucking John for another minute, before letting go of him. This time his groan was one of disappointment, but Sherlock drowned it in a kiss. "I want you inside me." She looked up in time to watch John swallow hard at that statement and gave a jerky nod. "Yes, that`s definitely," he licked his lips and gazed down at Sherlock - blue eyes blown open wide with longing and lust. "A great idea. Perfect. Only..." A small frown appeared on his forehead as his mind obviously started to work around the fog of lust that had to cloud it by now. "You will have to tell me how exactly you want it, tonight." John smiled apologetically at her as if it was some oversight on his part that he wasn`t used to that particular side of Sherlock.

She kissed him for it - long and deep - and drew him with her as she stumbled to her feet. They tumbled onto the bed, John landing half on top of Sherlock as he attempted to kiss her, while getting rid of his shirt at the same time. "I wonder how you ever managed to undress yourself without my aid," Sherlock commented as she pulled it over his head and threw it to the side. "It`s good that I have you, then, isn`t it?" John grinned and pressed a kiss to her jaw. He trailed a wet line down to her collarbone and sucked on the flesh right above it, leaving a blooming red mark, which would be visible for days.

Sherlock tossed her head to the side as he grabbed her breasts hard enough to massage her nipples through the fabric, until they were hard and straining against the restraints of the negligee. "I want to keep... the negligee on." Heat crept into her cheeks, but John only nodded. "I`ll be careful not to tear it." His hands found their way underneath the thin fabric, stroking her flat stomach and dipping his tongue into her navel, but staying away from her black knickers. They were slowly becoming uncomfortable tight and damp and Sherlock lifted her hips in a silent plea. John got her meaning at once, although it took him much longer than usual to free Sherlock of her underwear, since he was careful not to touch her crotch. Finally, the offending piece of fabric was taken care of and John inched back up to kiss her again.

It was... awesome, just lying there and exchanging kisses, letting hands wander over each other`s bodies and feeling completely relaxed. Yes, it was nice to slow down for a few minutes and just enjoy their closeness, especially since Sherlock knew that it wouldn`t last for long. John`s erection was hard and throbbing against her thigh and she felt an answering pull in her crotch as well. "Lube," she pressed out between kisses and John obliged at once, betraying how much he yearned for more.

"How do you want it?" he asked once more as he placed the lube on the mattress.

Sherlock frowned. "I don`t want... friction... and I don`t want to see... _it_." Thankfully, she didn`t have to elaborate what she meant by it, but she could still see the wheels turning in John`s head as he considered how to meet her demands. It almost seemed impossible, especially since Sherlock wasn`t able to come up with a position that would guarantee that both demands were met. She had never achieved orgasm - or even had had penetrative intercourse - with someone, when she was... _herself_. A few times she had masturbated, but she had been able to do so without touching her genitals or look at them, therefore... Sherlock didn`t have any idea how to go about it.

Obviously, John was much more imaginative than she was, since his face lit up a second later and he scrambled out of the bed and opened one of the drawers of their sideboard. Sherlock blinked, trying to deduce what John was looking for, when he turned around and held out one of Sherlock`s scarves to her. "I always wanted to try that," he murmured secretively and placed the scarf on the nightstand. His words, in combination with his conspiratorial smile finally gave Sherlock the right idea as to what he was up to and she grinned in return.

John climbed back into bed and pressed a lingering kiss to Sherlock`s lips that even made her toes tingle, before he rearranged her on the bed, so that she was on her elbows and knees. "That should work for now," John murmured. A playful slap landed on Sherlock`s buttocks and she yelped in surprise and glowered over her shoulder at John, who winked at her. "You are just irresistible." For good measure, Sherlock glowered again at that, before resting her head back on her arms and raising the lower part of her body a little higher in the air.

"Beautiful!" Kisses were placed on her buttocks and then - finally - a slick finger was pressed against her hole. Sherlock pushed back against John, urging him to go ahead as he massaged the circle of muscle around her opening painfully slowly. "John," she warned in a dark tone as he kept on teasing her. "I`ll do it myself, if you don`t go ahead." A breath hitched behind her and John`s increased breathing told Sherlock that she had managed to push him closer to the edge with her words alone. Maybe, she really should prepare herself some time, only to see how John...

"Oh yes!"

She moaned and sighed contently as John`s first finger entered her. He pushed into her a few times, going deeper each time and Sherlock already imagined how it would feel when some other part of John...

"Ahh... God!"

Sparks shot through her body as John brushed against that hidden spot in her and she shook with the effort to keep her lower body upright as he did it again. A strong arm circled around her waist and bore part of her weight. That would have truly been the wrong position for the following act, Sherlock thought as another finger joined its companion in her.

"John!" His name was merely a gasp as it fell from her lips - prayer and plea at once. Skilled fingers worked their magic inside her, sending sparks of lust through her body and making her crotch throb with need as the flames sparked higher and higher. "Enough!" Sherlock shouted as John pressed against her inner walls again and the movement of them halted in her.

"Close?" Sherlock nodded, still panting as she tried to regain control of her body. It was relief and disappointment at once as John withdrew his fingers from within her and scrambled to the headboard of the bed. Sherlock rolled her eyes, remaining in her former position as John rearranged the pillows, until he could lean comfortably against them as he sat up. He reached for the scarf on the nightstand. "Come here, Sherlock." His voice was a seductive whisper and a powerful command at once. She got up on her knees and noted how the fabric of her negligee stuck to her body as she moved to do as John had said. It was more thrilling - a little filthy in some way - than uncomfortable and Sherlock grinned as she realised that she would have to wash the negligee after tonight... for the first time since she had bought it.

The scarf was wound around her head and sudden darkness enfolded her vision. She blinked a few times and smiled when she was only able to make out the differences of light in the room. Perfect!

John`s hands were on her once more a second later, helping Sherlock to rearrange herself, until she straddled his lap, her back pressed against his front. The head of his erection nudged against her buttocks as she shifted a little. She tasted for John`s hard length, in order to grab it and guide it to her entrance, but it was more difficult than Sherlock had imagined with the blindfold on.

"Here, let me help you," John`s words were accompanied by a little chuckle, but Sherlock didn`t take offense. How could she, when John`s erection glided into her only moments later. A groan escaped Sherlock`s lips as she felt the stretch of her body as it adapted to John`s length. It felt much more intensive than usual and Sherlock vowed to herself that they would use a blindfold more often from now on. They both panted by the time Sherlock had taken all John had to give and they were as close as humanly possible.

"If you hadn`t... held me back... it would have been... faster," Sherlock panted and shuddered delightfully as John`s hands wandered from her hips - where he had gripped Sherlock to stop her from taking him all at once - to her breasts and grabbed them through the thin fabric. His breath was a hot whisper against her ear. "You would have hurt... yourself and I rather like you... in one piece."

Sherlock only huffed. After all, it wasn`t the first time that they made love - and it had been quite rough on occasions - although... in some way it was their first time together. A sappy smile stretched her lips and Sherlock was glad that John couldn`t see her right now. He would have teased her mercilessly for it.

"Firstly you complain... and now... Oh yes!"

This time, Sherlock`s lips turned into a smirk as she started to move her pelvis in circles. John felt so good in her. He always felt good in her, but tonight... it was absolutely amazing. She could feel one hand pressed against her breasts and the other on her hip as she moved faster. John thrust up into Sherlock and met her rhythm with ease as if they were two halves of a coin. Two bodies, which were meant to be one and finally reunited.

Sherlock kept these thoughts to herself, only slightly embarrassed at how poetic they sounded and instead concentrated on the onslaught of sensations all around her. There was John - moving inside her and making wonderful, needy noises. The scent of their mutual arousal in the air. The sliding of silk against her stomach. John`s hand grabbing it, pressing her back against him, thrusting up and... Oh God!

Sherlock moaned loudly, all thoughts gone from her mind as John hit that hidden spot in her over and over again. Her body tingled with pleasure, millions of synapses firing at once and reducing her to a whimpering bundle of lust.

"John... I... close!"

Sherlock wasn`t sure if the words came out recognizable, but somehow she must have managed to get their meaning across, since John doubled his efforts to give her pleasure. "Yes, Sherlock... come for me! My beautiful... girl!"

The last word did it. Sherlock tumbled over the edge with a scream, her whole body trembling with the force of her orgasm as it was wrenched from her. After a couple of thrusts, John followed her and Sherlock groaned once more as he filled her with his semen. She was completely sated and a little lightheaded as well, since she would have almost fallen forward onto the bed, if it hadn`t been for John`s strong hands around her middle. "Careful, sweetheart." John pulled out of her slowly and helped Sherlock to lie down next to him, before he took of the blindfold - which had started to become rather annoying in the aftermath.

"Alright?"

Sherlock snorted at the question and inched closer to John, until their noses were almost touching. "More than that."

A kiss was pressed to her lips and Sherlock was only too happy to return it. "Thank you, John," she murmured, her eyes already starting to close as she snuggled closer to her boyfriend. Strong arms enfolded Sherlock and held her close as she drifted off to sleep, John`s heartbeat a steady thump in her ear.

OOO

"Stupid!"

Sherlock snarled at himself as he stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom and inspected his face. The make-up from yesterday was everywhere. His eyelashes were glued together by the mascara and the eyelid line made him look like a panda today. He glared at his face and grabbed some tissues and crème to make himself look presentable once more. His negligee had already found its way into the washbasin and the nail polish would have to come off later.

Sherlock sighed and checked his reflection in the mirror once more, after wiping the crème away with one of the tissues. He nodded contently. At least, the make-up was easy to wipe away, although he wasn`t so sure about the state of their pillows. Mrs. Hudson wouldn`t be amused if they asked her to help them with the laundry. Well, Sherlock shrugged and put on his dressing gown, they could always buy new pillowcases if necessary.

He wandered into the kitchen - following the scent of freshly brewed tea - and slung his arms around John from behind. "Morning." Sherlock pressed a kiss to John`s cheek and smiled when his boyfriend turned his head to return the sentiment.

"Morning, are you going to eat breakfast?" Sherlock considered the question earnestly. They had had a fantastic and rich dinner only ten hours ago and usually that would be enough for him to go on for days. Nevertheless, it wasn`t every night that Sherlock had so incredible sex with John and it had certainly burned a few calories. The rumbling of his stomach took away the decision from Sherlock, when John chuckled and added another two eggs and bacon to the pan.

"I hope you don`t expect me to eat all of that?" Sherlock muttered for good measure and sat down at the kitchen table.

"Yes, I do."

Sherlock merely rolled his eyes at that and sipped tea from his mug, until John put a plate in front of him and sat down with his own. He threw a brilliant smile at Sherlock. "The bacon is especially crisp today."

"You say that every day," Sherlock reminded him, but not without fondness as he dug into his breakfast. They ate in silence for some time, until something occurred to Sherlock and he lowered his fork. "You haven`t ask me as which gender I identify today."

John shrugged and shoveled another forkful of eggs into his mouth. "It doesn`t really matter, does it?" At Sherlock`s perplexed expression, John put his cutlery down and reached across the table for Sherlock`s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I trust you that you tell me if I do something you don`t like and otherwise, it doesn`t matter to me. I love you, that`s the only important thing here."

Sherlock gulped and blamed it on John`s cooking skills as his eyes teared up a little. "I love you, too," he forced out past the lump in his throat.

Their smiles were mirrored on each other`s faces as they continued their breakfast. John was right, Sherlock realised as he glanced up at his boyfriend - who was shoveling eggs and bacon in his mouth - as long as they loved each other, nothing else mattered.


End file.
